A Million Years Ago
by I.R. Simmons
Summary: Magnus knew he would have to endure this loss, this one loss that would break him. He'd lost people before, but none would be like the blue-eyed angel who had taken him under his wing and gave him a reason to live. Inspired by A Million Years Ago by Adele/Oneshot


**A Million Years Ago**

Magnus knew this was coming, he knew that he would have to endure this loss, this one loss that would break him. As he has said before, you endure what is unbearable, and you bear it, that is all. But he didn't think he could endure this loss, not this one. None of the people he had lost before were like _him._ Like the blue-eyed angel who had taken him under his wing, and gave him a reason to live. No one could even _hope_ to compare.

Alec, _his_ Alec, lay on the bed, barely breathing. Magnus sat on a chair by the bed, clutching Alec's hand. Alec's friends and family gathered around him, because they had a right to be here just as much as him.

They were supposed to have more time, they were supposed to live it out, get married, adopt children, and be _happy_. Magnus always knew that there was a risk with dating a Shadowhunter. Shadowhunters fight the evils of the world, they get injured, and sometimes they don't recover from it.

Like Alec, who'd been bitten by a Ravener demon. They tried to heal him with Iratzes and Magnus was absolutely drained by using every ounce of magic he had. He tried every spell in the book. Even Clary had attempted at creating Runes, but nothing worked. After three hours of working, and chanting, and _crying_ , they all decided to accept it.

Alec was awake, but he didn't appear like he would be awake much longer. Dark, half-crescent moons sat under eyes. Magnus could tell he was exhausted. "Magnus," his voice sounded forced. Like it hurt for him to speak.

Magnus composed himself, and spoke. "I'm here." He squeezed his hander tighter. It was a gesture that said "I'm not going anywhere". He took a deep breath, and let it out.

Alec swallowed, and winced as he did. "I need you to know… This isn't your fault." A tear slid down the side of his face, tickling his ear. His breath had gone from nearly deceased, to choked, struggled gasps.

Magnus forced a smile on his face, but he couldn't seem to fight the water that welled in his eyes. He didn't let any fall. Alec was wrong. It was his fault. He should've been able to heal his wound, he should've been strong enough, but he wasn't. And because of that, Alec lay here, dying. "I know…" His voice shook as he lied.

Alec smiled. "You're many things, Magnus." He paused, and was suddenly wracked with coughs. Magnus put a hand on his chest to try to calm him down, clenching his jaw. Blood sept through Alec's teeth. "But a g-good liar, you are not."

Magnus didn't know what to say, so he said what he was _supposed_ to say. "I'm sorry." But he meant it. He felt a tear finally trickle down his cheek, just one.

Alec reached out his arm, weakly, but he fought through the pain, because that was what Shadowhunters do. He placed it on Magnus' cheek, wiping away the tear with his thumb. "It's okay." Magnus took a shaky breath as he listened to Alec's fading voice. "Don't be sad. Don't become bitter." Magnus brought the hand he wasn't clutching Alec's own with, and put it on the hand on his cheek. "And don't forget what we had."

"Please," Magnus whispered. It was filled with such pain. "Don't go… You have to fight it."

Alec grunted in pain, and Magnus shifted in his seat and squeezed Alec's hand tighter. "I am, Magnus, I am. I have been, be-because I don't want to go either. I want to stay with you, Magnus." Another tear crept out of Alec's eye. "But it hurts."

Magnus let go of Alec's now cold hand on his cheek and ran his fingers through the Shadowhunter's hair. "I know, baby, I'm sorry. I am so sorry." His voice was pleading.

The other Shadowhunters looked away. This was a lovely exchange that didn't deserve to be seen by them. They did not believe this was something they were _worthy_ enough to see. Even Maryse and Robert let Magnus say what needed to be said, because they would not deny their son what he wanted most in his last moments. And they could not deny Magnus that either.

Jace could feel Alec's life vanishing, he could feel it in the Parabatai Rune, he could feel it in his heart, his blood, his very _self_. He felt like he was dying as well. And he didn't even notice he was shedding tears. He did notice the tears that came down Isabelle's face silently, her eyes puffy and red.

Alec's eyes began to droop, and Magnus knew he wouldn't last much longer. "Not your fault…" Alec's voice was barely audible anymore. "I'm so tired…"

And Magnus let it go. He let go of the _want_ for Alec to survive, for the _need_. He let go of his own selfish desire for Alec to stay with him, because Alec was hurting. He nodded, fighting back tears. "Sleep now, Alexander, sleep."

And Alec did.

And then he took his last breath.

It was hours later that the Silent Brothers arrived to take him away, and Magnus didn't leave his side once, and Magnus let them take him away, because if he didn't, his Alexander would never find peace.

Magnus was offered to stay at the Institute overnight, but he knew what he had to do.

He walked home, feeling numb, yet he felt everything at once.

When he finally made it to the loft, he dialed her number, and waited for her to pick up.

She did.

"Tessa, I need you." His voice was full of unshed tears. His heart felt heavy, like it couldn't carry the weight of this pain, like it couldn't hold this amount of agony, this _misery_ that he didn't know what to do with.

He remembered the times when he had nothing to worry about, when he could go to parties, and host parties, and have _fun_. He remembered when he and Catarina would go out late at night without a care in the world. When he could walk about as his snarky self, and pull pranks, and be sarcastic, and make jokes, and _laugh_ , and _mean_ it. When he could _live_.

But that was a million years ago.

 **I have wanted to do a prompt like this for a long time, and I am so glad I did. As you know, this was inspired by Adele's song Million Years Ago. And sorry this isn't long…**

 **If you're curious about the story I deleted, I'm sorry for NOT being sorry… I didn't like it and I knew I could write better, and I don't have time to update very much, so I thought, why not do oneshots?**

 **And if I do a multi-chapter story, I do have a new prompt that I am excited about. I don't know if I will carry out with it, though. We'll see.**


End file.
